We trust in His will

Larry and I recently experienced a difficult loss. I had some complications and went to the doctor. They did an ultrasound and said that the chances for miscarriage were more than 50/50. Larry gave me a blessing and we prayed. It is difficult to hope for what I want, and at the same time, be willing to accept what God wants for me. While I was praying I told Heavenly Father that I was willing to lose the baby if it was His will. That was very difficult to pray for. I felt if only a small taste of what it must have been like for God to give up His Son. It was a profound realization that if we will submit to His will, it's easier to find peace. The pain and trials may still come, but God will always fulfill His promises to us. I didn't want to accept it but I knew that He was going to take our baby back. Later that day, June 30th, I had a miscarriage. It was a difficult experience but we trust that God's wisdom is perfect; That this trial will help us grow and that it has a purpose with our happiness in mind. Though it's hard to comprehend, we know that this difficult trial is a blessing to us. Larry and I are drawing closer to God and to each other through this experience. We've also been able to reavaluate our priorities and outlook on things. We understand the sadness that comes with anticipating a baby and then having everything come to a halt. Even though I wasn't too far along and we never met the baby, it doesn't minimize the loss. Though we don't know when the Spirit enters a baby, we still cared for him or her as a being with a Spirit. I guess I'm okay with not knowing how it works, but I like to think that this baby was a special Spirit that Heavenly Father needed to keep; or at least for now. Perhaps this baby is meant to be our gaurdian angel that will always watch over us. We have felt peace that everything will be okay. When the time is right, Heavenly Father will send us another baby. But we won't forget this one as our first. As we cope with this loss we think of the words found in Mosiah 24:15 "...the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord."