What Can I Say?

So...I'm in the blogging mood. I don't do it enough...I'm pretty sure because I usually don't care to share whatever I'm up to or how I'm doing. But it's a nice Sunday evening so why not write a bit? I don't have any pictures to glam up this post though. That's my new goal...we need pictures! We have very few pictures of us together since we got married. I chalked it up to having braces...But on March 10th I got them off! WoohoO!! Now Larry can't call me train tracks...it's amusing watching him pause to think of some new nickname to give me. Hehe. Sucker.

Anyway, I'm loving this Spring weather. We're going camping in a month for our anniversary...I know it doesn't sound luxurious but we're so excited! I love nature and Larry so put the two together and I'm one happy girl! We'll take pics and post a lovely story about our adventures (in Southern Utah) after it happens.

A couple other updates...on January 25th we got a new niece, Aurora Grace Arnold ("Rori"). We haven't met her yet but she's really cute! Also, my older sister Emily...wait a second, I don't know why I bother saying "older" I mean I AM the youngest. Hehe. Anyway my sister Emily announced on Valentine ’s Day that she and Brett are having another baby. Their youngest is almost four so it's been a while. We're happy for them. They just found out they're having a GIRL so that ends the streak of boys on my side of the family.

I'm still doing my daycare biz and that's going well. Our store is going just fine too. We have some new ideas that we're excited about and we feel that we'll have success with. More to come on that later.

Lastly, I just wanted to mention, for anyone who was interested to know, that we didn't get the results of what caused our last miscarriage as was anticipated. Usually they’re “unexplained” but still! For those who don't know, I was in the Eager Study, on my last month in the study, when we finally had another baby on the way (18 months after we lost the first.) I was happy to be staying in the study but had a feeling it wouldn't work out again. Yeah I hate when I have feelings of stuff I so don't want to hear.

Well, I was given a container in case I had another miscarriage. Sorry if that's too much information...I took it with me to the hospital (I was having problems obviously) and miscarried there. We made it very clear to the hospital staff over and over again that we needed the "sample" :( kept in the fridge and without any thing added to it. The Eager Study was going to perform a genetic test (costs about $4,000) free of cost to us.

Well...I waited weeks and weeks for the results. Finally I found out that the nurse at the hospital didn't follow the written and verbal instructions we gave. They added formalin to the specimen which destroyed it. Thus, we didn't get the answers we really needed. Infertility is really expensive and frustrating! My doctor recommended testing that cost an additional $3000 but we had to decline and take other routes with lower costs. I always feel weird talking about this very personal family matter on the blog but I feel like sharing for some reason…for those who care to know.

I have to admit, it's hard being in "the baby business" when I do want one myself and don't know when that will happen. I'm still a youngin’ but that's what tends to scare me. Most 21 year olds don't have these types of problems so it's a matter of concern. I got a new doctor who is helpful and concerned too so that helps! I know that we'll have a baby when we're ready to be fit parents...or something like that.

I really do trust in the Lord's wisdom and timing. I've had plenty of experiences along the road of life this past couple years to realize that there's wisdom in why things have happened how they have. I never even thought I'd be married at this point in my life so I feel blessed to have the opportunity to become a mom at a young age. I think Larry worries about my desire to have a baby when I can just have him instead ;) Just kidding Larry. But I think most women naturally desire a baby of their own when they see cute babies being born left and right.

Sometimes I feel really discouraged and "wo is me." This morning I was being a baby myself and Larry was helpful to remind me that Heavenly Father really does know more than I do. Then at church everything pointed to how God's wisdom is perfect and we can find good in everything that happens to us.

Life has been tough in the Balsmeier family for many reasons but that's only made me realize how much Heavenly Father really does know and love us. And I find myself enjoying (did I just say that?) the challenges that life brings...not sure "enjoying" is the right word. What I mean is, I'm seeing the "tender mercies of the Lord" in my life more and more. I'm literally seeing the spiritual growth in me and then I realize...oh yeah...He does know what He's doing! We all have challenges that go unseen to others but never to our Heavenly Father. Don't ever forget it! Wow, apparently I just wrote in my journal and made it public to the world. Oops. I just hope it helps someone somehow.