In 2013 I didn't blog...

But in 2014 I will! Just wanted to post this so I'm more likely to hold myself to it. 2013 was a great year and I'm determined to write my "year in review" sometime in January (lets be reasonable ;) Until then, here's a picture of the greatest blessing we received in 2013! :)

Yes, I have a lot to catch up on with Hayden being almost three months old, and Allen, almost three years old...

Wishing you all a Happy New Year!

Love,
Megan, Larry, Allen, & Hayden

 

2012 in review and the new year 2013

Well, it's three weeks into 2013 and I'm just now posting this. I only blogged a couple of times last year. I somehow manage not to update it. But anyway, below is the year in review.

January: 2012 began (really?!)
February: Larry's brother Taylor moved in with us at our condo
February 22nd: Allen's 1st birthday
March: Signed a contract to build a house in West Valley.
March 26th: Allen started walking!
April 22nd: Our four year wedding anniversary
May 19th: My Dad married my new step mom, Cathy!
June 11th: Megan's 24th birthday
Met my Aunt Tonie who came to the US to visit (from France)
July: Took our annual trip out to Kansas to visit Larry's family for a week
Also, my best friend, Chelsea, married Matthew.
August: Allen started nursery
August: Allen won the Kushies baby of the month contest...because he's so cute.
August: Taylor moved back to Kansas (lol, we do miss you!)
September 1st: Found out we were having another baby, due May 13th 2013 (the day after Mother's Day). We were so excited for Allen to be a big brother!
September 11th: Moved into our new house
September 18th: Saw the baby's heartbeat on ultrasound
September 21st: Went back to the doctor because I was worried something was wrong. The ultrasound showed no heartbeat. Miscarried baby and had a D&C :( (My third miscarriage)
October-December: Settled into our house and enjoyed the holidays...
October 31st: Allen was a monkey for Halloween.
November: Allen transitioned out of his crib and into a big boy bed!
November 22: Served Thanksgiving dinner and had my family over to our new house
December 15th: Said goodbye to my childhood cat, Oreo.
December 24th: Larry's 29th birthday
December 25th: We spoiled Allen for his 2nd Christmas.
January 1st: 2013 began...and here we are!

Okay, that was a really summed up version. Overall, it was a pretty good year, aside from the miscarriage. I've really loved watching Allen grow into a toddler. He's so much fun and is truly a sweet and precious spirit. We absolutely adore him! Through the year he learned so much and grew a lot. He's 28 lbs now and I forget how tall, but at his last appointment he was in the 90th percentile for height (tall and handsome). He loves dinosaurs, turtles, trucks, trains, and mickey mouse. He has the cutest personality and I just love his sweet voice. Hearing him say "mom...hi!" and the many other words he says is the cutest sound ever. Our little Albee is such a good boy. I'm constantly in awe of what a sweet little boy he is. He's my little angel and I'm convinced he's perfect. :) Also, just an update on his feet. He just had a follow up appointment at Shriner's and they said his feet look great. He's doing so well he might even get out of his brace when he's three instead of four. We're happy about that!

Moving this year was good for us. The building process was  a bit of a hassle at times but it all worked out and we are happy with our new place. It was a little bit of a change to move to the opposite side of the valley but we like it. And it's nice being close to Larry's work. We put a lot of work into painting and even put in a really nice backsplash in the kitchen. Allen even has a big boy room now, complete with a slide, fort, and bunk bed! We have a herd of deer that live in front of our house and we love watching them. Allen calls them the "doe." We're looking forward to fencing the yard, putting in grass, and finishing the basement this year.

Dealing with my miscarriage was a hard part of 2012 and I'm still coping with it. Infertility and recurrent miscarriages are very frustrating and discouraging, there's no doubt about that. I had a full work up done and both Larry and I had genetic testing to try and identify the cause of the miscarriages. The results didn't provide any answers and we were told to just hope for the best next time and continue with the fertility drugs. I do feel very blessed to have my little Allen and I'm encouraged when I think of the fact that we were able to have him, even though it took a while. I'd have to say that all three miscarriages were really hard, but something about this last one has been a real challenge for me. It seems that a lot of my friends are having babies due around the same time and, though I'm happy for them, it just hurts to think of the baby we lost. Instead of having a pity party for myself, I'm trying to stay positive and hoping that we can have another baby when our Heavenly Father sees fit.

Meanwhile, I'm just loving being a mom to my little Allen. I can't believe he's going to be two soon!  We're looking forward to this being a good year. I'm all blogged out now, but there, I did it...I updated the blog!

                                                     Allen on his 1st birthday

The day we signed the contract to build our new house

 

Our new house

 

 

Our kitchen with the backspash we did

 

Our monkey

 

One of the "doe"

 

                                                  Christmas lights

                                                     Our little boy :)

                                                          My handsome Allen

                                                       He loves building with his blocks

                                                           Those cheeks!

                                                        Family photo at temple square

 

 

LOSS

I feel withdrawn and empty. I wanted to hide for a while but I need to tell you what happened so I can move forward, even though I feel like I want time to hold still so I don’t have to let go. I found out I was pregnant on September 1^st  (due May 13, 2013). I told Larry by sending Allen into the room wearing a onesie that said “Big Brother May 2013.” We saw the heartbeat on September 18^th when I was just over 6 weeks along. (I have to be seen early due to my history.) I felt really hopeful. Since we saw the heartbeat with Allen, but not with my first two miscarriages, I had something to hold onto.

But the next couple days I was worried for some reason. I had been really sick and then one day I just felt better. On Friday, September 21^st, I went back to the doctor for another ultrasound. My heart sank. There was no heartbeat. Dr. Watts said he was sorry. He arranged to do a D & C at St. Marks that afternoon.

 I went home for a couple hours and then me, Larry, and Allen went to St. Marks and I was admitted to my room. Eventually, they took me down to get ready for the O.R. Dr. Watts came to talk to me and took me to the operating room for the procedure. When I woke up, I felt empty and sad that it was all over. The nurse leaned over and told me she was really sorry and knew I’ve always had a hard time being able to have babies. All of my nurses that day were really compassionate towards me, as was my doctor (he's always been really caring and helped me get treatment to have Allen and he delivered him). I'm grateful for them.

When I got back to my room I was alone at first. Then Larry and Allen came in. I’m so grateful I have my baby boy and having him there with me brought me a lot of comfort. But the loss is always so real when I miscarry. This was my third miscarriage. 75% of my pregnancies have ended in early miscarriage. I have to be on medications to even attempt to get and stay pregnant and it takes a lot of time and patience.

Now I just want to remember my baby with the heart beating that I saw just days earlier. I don’t need to hear about other’s knowing how it feels from their experiences, because I feel we all have different losses,  and it’s always hard. I guess I don't really mind people sharing if they want to (I think it's human nature to try and relate), but we’re each different and have different situations.   I just want to hear “I’m sorry.” I just want to remember the loss and be hopeful for the future.

I’m so grateful for my little boy, Allen, he means the world to me. He helps me stay hopeful too. Larry gave me a blessing last night and has tried to help me cheer up (he sent Allen to give me a kiss, which he did, sweet little boy). I don’t know how it all works or why I have these challenges. But I feel like we'll have each of the babies that are meant to come to us when the time is right. The losses along the way are always heartbreaking, but all I can do is keep hoping.

Our New Appliances!

So we decided to get some new appliances for our new home. We found this website Goedekers.com where we got a great deal on a new washer, dryer and refrigerator. We can't wait to get them. If anyone is looking at getting new appliances this is definitely the place to go. Their service is great, prices are amazing, and they have free shipping and a free 10-year warranty on the appliances. Nobody can beat their prices. Check them out!

My baby turned one! (February 22nd)

Right after birth / On his first birthday

So I'm just going to make a quick post because I want to update the blog. Allen turned one year old on February 22nd (finally updating the blog over a month later). I can't believe how much he's grown. Our little boy had quite a first year.

Here are just a few things that went on his first year:
He was born February 22nd 2011 at 4:52 PM 8 lbs 6 oz 20in
He was born with club feet and pneumonia.
He was in the NICU for 9 days
We brought him home March 3rd
He was on home oxygen until he was two months old
He was casted for club feet at 2 weeks old and had the casts until he was 11 weeks old
He had his tenotomy procedure done at 7 weeks
He was blessed on Mother's Day, May 8th
After getting his casts off, he wore the brace full time until he was 6 months(he'll wear it at night only until he's four)
At 3 1/2 months he could scoot around by using his brace
First cereal  at 4 1/2 months
Started rolling over at 5 1/2 months
Sitting up on his own at 5 1/2 months
First words at 6 months "Dada" then "Mama"
Crawling at 7 1/2 months
First tooth at 11  months
Some growing stats...
8 lbs 6 oz 20in @ Birth
8 lbs 9 oz @ 9 days
10 lbs 10 oz @ 7weeks
14 lbs 4 oz 26 inches @ 4 months
16 lbs 11 oz 28 inches @ 6 months
18 lbs 6 oz @ 7 months
18 lbs 9 oz @ 28 1/2 inches 9 months
20 lbs 14 oz 30 inches @ 12 months
At one year old: 70th percentile height, 20th percentile weight

Sleepy baby in the NICU

One day old

Newborn...he was so tiny!

Casting

Allen's Blessing Day

Just a few things about our little Allen...
We call him "Monkey" (He does the best monkey stretches ever!)
He loves music. He dances like a gangsta.
He has the best laugh
He loves animals, especially our dog Kodi.
He doesn't sleep much...never has.
He doesn't compain much. He's been through so much in his first year, with hospitals, and uncomfortable treatments for his feet and wearing a brace...but through it all he's taught us about patience and resilience.
He's the sweetest little boy ever!

I just can't say enough how grateful I am to be Allen's mom. Having him in our lives has been the greatest blessing. We adore him more than we can ever express. I made a video to sum up his first year (makes me wanna cry) I somehow left out a clip that shows his casts, which were a big part of the beginning of his life. And I think his 7th month might not be in here. Some day I might go in and add those things...cuz I'm obsessive like that. (apparently it may be awhile before I get it added. it won't upload).

Allen's First Birthday


We got Allen got his own tractor truck for his 1st birthday present. He loves it and says "weeee" as we push him around. To celebrate his bday, we took him to lunch at IHop and then headed over to the Living Planet Aquarium. Allen has always shown an interest in animals and fish. So it wasn't much of a surprise to see his excitement when he met the little sea creatures. He loved the penguins especially and kept saying "ooooo, woahhh" as they swam around (they're social little animals and kept showing off right in front of us). We also visited the sea otters exhibit. We poked our heads in one of those things where you're essentially in the exhibit (you know what I mean?) and the otters were no where to be seen. That is until Allen poked his head in. They all came running up to us. It was pretty cool!  Allen's quite popular with the sea otters (I just realized that's what he was for his first Halloween, lol). Later in the day, we gave Allen a balloon, which was his best friend apparently (he wouldn't let go of it) and a big cupcake as his smash cake. He made a nice mess with that :)

Handsome boy with his balloon

Not a fan of birthday hats

 On February 26th, we had a family birthday party for him. My family brought him some gifts and we had some food and cake. Larry made an awesome guitar and drum set cake for him. Then we watched the video that I made of his first year. It was fun and meant a lot to me to celebrate our little boy.

Birthday party

Guitar cake made by daddy

Smiling while we sing happy birthday

On March 2nd, Allen had his one year checkup. The pediatrician said he's doing great, but she was concerned that he needed physical therapy because he doesn't have much muscle tone in his legs. It hasn't seemed to be much of an issue though. After his appointment, I took him down to the first floor where labor & delivery and the nicu are. I showed him his window and then took him in there to drop off a card. It was a cute little letter written in his words, with a then and now picture of him from the day he came home and then him at one year old. They said they'd put it in a little book where they keep the cards for first anniversarys (from going home). He actually came home March 3rd, but hey, it's a leap year so that works.

From his NICU anniversary card

It brought back a lot of memories. It seemed like he'd never get out of the NICU (aaaand he probably only went home as soon as he did due to my pestering...what? I knew he'd do better at home.) Now it had been a whole year since that time.

At one year old...
Allen says "Mom, Dad, woah, wow, and weee" lol.
He loves giving hugs and kisses
He had just four teeth, all of which came in after 11 months (he was our gummy bear for quite a while :)
He likes playing games and is always silly
He could walk with help (along the wall, holding hands, etc)...more to come on walking by himself in my next post.

I'm so proud of Allen for all he's accomplished in his first year. And I'm grateful that he's healthy and happy. We love you Allen! :)

Allen each month from newborn to 12 months